The Foolproof Diet
May 14th, 2008 by Go Weblog
Weight-loss gurus often tout impractical and absurd diets. They push their products and posit their heft-reducing theories, each claiming to have unlocked some previously undiscovered or undisclosed secrets. These hucksters market all kinds of nutrition plans, from the never-eat-anything-bigger-than-your-fist to the fill-up-with-enough-fiber-to-start-your-own-gas-transmission-plant variety.
One man I know (whose name I won’t mention) has been following a high-fiber diet so long that he’s become a hazard to others’ health. In fact, he should be forced to wear a sign that reads: WARNING: CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE.
The sheer magnitude of weight-loss programs today causes me to develop apathy toward the entire industry. Why would I want to join some fat-reducing organization from the West Coast when I live in Texas? Who wants to spend their time counting points or calories? And what’s so great about drinking unsweetened green tea? This is the Southwest (home of “sweet tea”)not the Orient.
If I have to purchase prepackaged foods sold only through authorized distributors to banish my bulge, then I’ll keep my fleshy rolls (and my yeast ones, too), thank you very much. So stop asking. No, I haven’t called Jenny yet!
I prefer to follow a healthy eating program that includes all my food groups: chocolate, ice cream, pizza, fried potatoes, and specialty breads. And finally somebody has developed one; it’s called The Flavor Point Diet.
Now, if I correctly understand the concept, The Flavor Point Diet works by flooding your taste buds with one central flavor for an entire day. So on tomato day, for instance, the diet recommends eating tomato products at every meal. The next day, you’re instructed to switch to a different flavorlike pineapple.
On tomato day, then, I would eat cold pizza for breakfast, tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich on tomato/rosemary bread for lunch, and lasagna for dinner. Somehow I don’t see myself shedding much weight on a plan like that. But from a foods permitted standpoint, this program I’ve come up with a weight-loss program of my own. Here’s how it works:
Allow yourself to eat only bland foods at every meal. Appropriate dishes include plain, unsweetened yogurt, boiled oatmeal without added sweeteners, salad greens with no dressing, celery (no dips), plain chickpeas, and tasteless vegetables such as hominy.
If you’re uncertain whether a specific item might be appropriate for this diet, here’s a simple test to help you find out:
1) Take a bite of the food in question.
2) Swirl the sample in your mouth.
3) Determine if this morsel tastes good. Depending on results, follow
“a” or “b” below:
a. If this food holds no appeal, swallow and continue eating.
b. If you’d like a second sample, spit out contents. This is not suitable fare for the The Flavorless Diet plan.
Follow this diet for one week and I guarantee you will have no desire overeat. You’ll feel no craving whatsoever to excessively consume any of these foods. And you will absolutely lose weight the whole time you stay on this programeven if you don’t exercise.
There’s only one drawback; dieters following The Flavorless Diet are advised to wear a sign. To be safe, they’ll want to warn those nearby to exercise caution when lighting a flame.
Diana Estill has been a freelance journalist and humor columnist for ten years. Her work has appeared online, in magazines, and in newspapers such as The Washington Post, The Miami Herald, and The Dallas Morning News. She was a finalist in the August 2005 America’s Funniest Humor Contest. Her book, Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road: Humorous Views on Love, Lust, and Lawn Care, will be released in June 2006. To see more of her work, visit http://www.DianaEstill.com
Tags: diet, diets, eat, eating, fads, food, humor, weight loss, women, womensPlan to Eat and Eat Your Plan
March 22nd, 2008 by Go Weblog
Poor nutrition has been linked to heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, and many other diseases. We can reduce our risk by choosing well-balanced meals. Balance, moderation and variety are the keys to eating well to maintain a sound mind and body.
Fast foods and eating out in restaurants have become so prevalent in our society that eating healthy meals are somewhat difficult. Understandably, it is easier to take the kids to a fast food restaurant or drive through after an exhausting day at work. No doubt there are more convenient choices but they are killing us and our families. Like with any change, it is challenging to adopt a new way in the early stages, but not impossible.
First begin with a plan. You have heard many times that if you fail to plan, then, you plan to fail. It is the same with eating. Plan your meals at the beginning of the week. Breakfast is as simple as whole grain cereal, whole-wheat toast, fruit, low-fat yogurt, 100% juice, and skim milk. Pack your lunch the night before so you will not make excuses or be tempted to run to the hotdog vendor. Pack leftovers from dinner, a veggie or tuna sandwich with low-fat mayo, fruit or soup. Purchase ready-made salads [without dressing mixed in] for a quick and easy dinner. Store readily available vegetables with low fat dip for easy snacking. Children love to dunk food into dips, this is a great way to get them to eat a healthy snack.
Prepare meals that can be stored in the freezer such as casseroles, pasta dishes, etc. Before you go to work, take a dish out of the freezer to thaw out. When you come home from work, all you need to do is throw the thawed dish in the oven for about 35-45 minutes and dinner is served without much effort.
Eating healthy on a regular basis does take planning and discipline. At first, it may seem rigorous because you are learning how to prepare meals. Grocery shopping may also feel like a chore. But, within a couple of weeks, it will become a habit and second nature. You will feel more in control knowing exactly what ingredients are being used. Therefore, you do not have to worry about hidden fats or too much salt, that are likely present in most restaurant foods.
Be a good role model for your family. You will be serving them by providing both healthy meals and educating them about leading a healthy lifestyle. This is huge because you are setting the example for your kids and passing it on to their kids, and down the line. So, if there was any evidence before of family history health problems, feel well that you decided to take charge and end the madness or at least decrease the risk for your family’s future generations.
The goal here is to enjoy nutritious and tasty foods. Remember, moderation is key so do not be too obsessed or restrictive as you may sabotage your success resulting in binge eating. Many of you can probably relate to forcing yourself not to eat a certain type of food such as a cookie, only to find a whole box devoured later. Have the cookie to prevent overeating down the road.
Plan your meals to incorporate servings of protein, whole grains, fresh fruits, vegetables, and dairy products. RDA suggest for daily intake of carbohydrates: 55-70%, fats: 20-30%, proteins: 15-20% and the World Health Organization suggests 40-50 grams of fiber daily. A varied diet is essential to good health. Concentrate on foods that are high in vitamins, essential fatty acids, antioxidants, unrefined carbohydrates, high fiber, low in sugar, low in fat, low in sodium, and limit alcohol consumption. Eating well and limiting your use of salt, sugar, caffeine, fats, can reduce stress and disease. American Cancer Society has stated that as much as 60% of cancer is related to diet.
You must start by making a decision to live a healthy, less stressful life by developing good eating habits. Come up with a plan and include your family by asking for feedback. Find out what healthy foods they want to try. Get them involved. It is easier to change when you are supported. Eating well will help you manage stress, reduce risk of disease and illness, control weight, and provide energy.
More information on health conditions is available at http://www.healthandfinesse.com
Tags: diet, eat, health, weight